The gazebo that almost killed me

i just sat down from an all day, grueling workout on my back patio, 12 hours to put together a gazebo. Will some body please come and kill me now? The instructions said all you need is 2 hours, a ladder and a Phillips screwdriver. What were they smoking? I start at 8 this morning, by 10 the sun, yes the sun in Seattle, is baking on the East side of the house where the patio (ex-carport) is and whatever possessed me to bare my fat cells, dab some 8 sunscreen on and think I would be good for the day?? I think as I get older I get more foolish. My skin hasn't seen sun for at least 3 years. Long story short, the instructions while in English, are written in a certain perspective from a different land, and it may have lost something in the translation or maybe it is just me. There was NO panel F to insert and join with Panel G. I made it half way thru before the power screw driver abso-efin-lutely failed and I had to make the dreaded drive, exhausted and scorched to Home Depot for the replacement. I return an hour later, the temp is over 85 in the shade and at least 100 where I am destined to spend the last day of life. I begin again. The framing and roof frame is up by 4. I'm burnt to a crisp, luckily, I gained some sense and never took the shirt off after the Home depot trip. Now more up and down the ladder tightening nuts and bolts, with shaky old man legs, tight spaces whereby NO power driver will work, where they must not have 3/8" wrenches, sockets, nuts and bolts because it was a bit off, so for me it looks like the 'Idiot Wrench' (Crescent wrench is the true term, however my beloved deceased father in law had the appropriate name for it) is the only method. The tightening complete, now time for the canvas, nylon, whatever it is roof. I'm on the death ladder again. been at it for 10 hours now, I'm ready to die (Please Lord, take me now and with quickness and as little pain as possible) as the pain in the feet, ankles, knees and back are causing me to think heroin is the only answer. Now, as I said the instructions are unique. I throw the top portion up, try to stretch over the 4 corners and 'RRRIIIIPPPP" the last corner says hell no not that way you don't. WTH? Was I supposed to put the tarp top piece on first, then finish the assembly 12 feet up in the air? I will sum it up by saying, after sitting in a chair, burnt to hell, in extreme pain, thinking all is lost, I say to myself, what would father in-law do? Well, I improvised, with 12/2 electrical wire, a small stone and voila after 12 hours for a "2 hour assembly" it is done. I hope I die before morning.

Stan’s photo gallery of today’s death trap