The gazebo that almost killed me

i just sat down from an all day, grueling workout on my back patio, 12 hours to put together a gazebo. Will some body please come and kill me now? The instructions said all you need is 2 hours, a ladder and a Phillips screwdriver. What were they smoking? I start at 8 this morning, by 10 the sun, yes the sun in Seattle, is baking on the East side of the house where the patio (ex-carport) is and whatever possessed me to bare my fat cells, dab some 8 sunscreen on and think I would be good for the day?? I think as I get older I get more foolish. My skin hasn't seen sun for at least 3 years. Long story short, the instructions while in English, are written in a certain perspective from a different land, and it may have lost something in the translation or maybe it is just me. There was NO panel F to insert and join with Panel G. I made it half way thru before the power screw driver abso-efin-lutely failed and I had to make the dreaded drive, exhausted and scorched to Home Depot for the replacement. I return an hour later, the temp is over 85 in the shade and at least 100 where I am destined to spend the last day of life. I begin again. The framing and roof frame is up by 4. I'm burnt to a crisp, luckily, I gained some sense and never took the shirt off after the Home depot trip. Now more up and down the ladder tightening nuts and bolts, with shaky old man legs, tight spaces whereby NO power driver will work, where they must not have 3/8" wrenches, sockets, nuts and bolts because it was a bit off, so for me it looks like the 'Idiot Wrench' (Crescent wrench is the true term, however my beloved deceased father in law had the appropriate name for it) is the only method. The tightening complete, now time for the canvas, nylon, whatever it is roof. I'm on the death ladder again. been at it for 10 hours now, I'm ready to die (Please Lord, take me now and with quickness and as little pain as possible) as the pain in the feet, ankles, knees and back are causing me to think heroin is the only answer. Now, as I said the instructions are unique. I throw the top portion up, try to stretch over the 4 corners and 'RRRIIIIPPPP" the last corner says hell no not that way you don't. WTH? Was I supposed to put the tarp top piece on first, then finish the assembly 12 feet up in the air? I will sum it up by saying, after sitting in a chair, burnt to hell, in extreme pain, thinking all is lost, I say to myself, what would father in-law do? Well, I improvised, with 12/2 electrical wire, a small stone and voila after 12 hours for a "2 hour assembly" it is done. I hope I die before morning.

Stan’s photo gallery of today’s death trap

Raising kids in Seattle

I ran into a good friend and past client yesterday and as we catch up on things, Dave tells me about his youngest of 4 children, nicknamed ‘Tonga’, I seem to recall. The story goes that this child, though not even 2 years of age is almost 40 pounds and is very adventurous (I think devious was the word), and has to be watched constantly. He climbs out of his crib and roams where he wants and will leave the house if not caught before hand. Childproof locks you might ask? Well, this is the funniest part. Dave says, yeah we have ‘em, however they don’t stop this child. He sneaks to the pantry door, takes his fist and BAMM slams it against the plastic knob surround breaking it off, carefully opens the door so as not to be heard, then scales the wire shelving to the top shelf where the prize goodies are kept, finds what he wants and drops it to the floor, creeps stealthily down to his prey, opens and starts to eat, when suddenly the door opens and there’s dad standing there looking down at him, at which time he gestures out to dad, offering up his prized possessions and says…’for you?’. At this point as I listen to this story of a not yet 2 year old, tears streaming down my face as I can’t contain my hysteria, I feel very grateful that I know longer have to raise young ones. I can’t wait to hear more ‘Tonga’ stories as this one continues on his journey towards becoming an NFL Hall of Fame defensive end. Thanks Dave for the belly laugh!

Safeco Insurance...Am I accepted back?

I know, I know, what kind of a blogger goes away for a month at a time? Well, I guess my true colors are coming out. I sell real estate, try to maintain a family, etc. and blogging will have to take a back seat. What the hell has been going on Stan to keep you from the keyboard? I’ll tell you. No real estate talk here, even though extremely busy with that, as that will be saved for a different blogging moment. Referring back to my Safeco post whereby the bastard (oops,excuse me, see post from last month, I don't know what came over me...I don’t want to be too strong and offend anyone) the ‘bad poopers’, decided to cancel and not renew because of the ‘hazardous fascia paint’, I finally hope I have resolve. The handrail has been built, the ‘exposed wood’ covered patio has been removed and hauled away and the dreaded ‘hazardous’ fascia paint has been repainted. I might add also had the whole South side of the home has had the siding replaced, (by the best contractor I currently know of, happy to refer, just call), the garage door replaced and the whole, entire home repainted. Safeco, I hope you happy…it @#%$$^&)* cost me 3 times what it costs you for the claim that you paid for my loss. But hell, we should be good friends now eh?

Showing Seattle Real Estate can be interesting

Sunday I get a call on a new listing of mine,

The Virtual Tour

we’ll call him Iggy (not really his name but very close to it). He speaks in a very gruff, (though English, sounds very German) foreign accent. He wants to see it. Do you have a personal realtor, I ask? (Normal protocol, as his realtor has access thru a key box) No. When can I show it to him? We set up the next day at 3:30 as the seller has two large dogs and gets home at 3PM and can take the mutts for a walk (they can be larger than life and a bit intimidating). Great. I leave the office at 3PM and head for the meeting with Iggy and his wife. At 3:29 the phone rings. Seller is almost a panic, gets home, the mutts have left a surprise in the bonus room where they were held captive all day, she has cleaned it up the best she can, ‘sorry for any smell, the windows are open, I hope it is not too bad.’ I arrive. Visiting car in drive, NO Iggy is visible. I walk around back (private acre lot) looking for the elusive Iggster. Success, there they are, a graying slightly bearded stocky gentleman peering in the back kitchen window and his dark haired wife (we will call her Emily). We intro and head back to the front door. Almost immediately the complaints start erupting from the mouth of the Igg man. ‘The den’s too small, the windows too high to clean, the living room looks like a family room, a septic system, no sewer??' What, can you get an acre without it? I say. ‘And where the hell do you put the plates?’ He asks. A brand new $100k kitchen and we start searching through the drawers and cupboards looking for the #%@#%@& plates. We haven’t even hit the upstairs yet where we will encounter the dog gifted bonus room. I can’t wait. ‘The master is too small, what no tub?, what is that softening in the hall flooring (WTH, it feels plush from high end carpeting and pad to me), and who would need a large room like this?’ Yep, the bonus room. Much to my surprise, the odor from the mutts is barely noticeable, whew. Well needless to say, as well finish the tour downstairs, The Iggster says he will have to think about it as he doesn’t make rash, quick decisions.’ Surprise, surprise, how shocking for me. Too bad too, as his wife was a delight, very positive, and seemed to really like the place. Just another day in the life of a NW realtor.

Safeco Insurance...Homeowners Beware!

Safeco Insurance has been my home liability insurance company for many, many years. Recently, I suffered a ‘break-in’ loss of a laptop computer in which I filed a claim and since it was covered, they paid for the stolen laptop. So…what’s the problem you ask? I’ll share with you the remainder of the story. A short few months after the incident, Safeco informs me: "After careful consideration, we have concluded that we will not be able to renew your homeowners policy." and why not, you may ask?
"While we regret this decision, we feel it necessary for the following reason: There is substantial increased hazard associated with the lack of maintenance of this dwelling."
1) “the facia has chipped, pealing and worn paint” (increased hazard???)
2) “the patio cover has exposed wood that is not protected from the weather” (again increased hazard?)
3) “the front steps lack a railing” (hello...it has been this way since 1940...1 step from porch to sidewalk and NO rail..."increased hazard"?)

OMG…with these disastrous home deficiencies producing such an "increased hazard", I can’t believe they could have taken my tens of thousands of dollars for all these past years and insured me anyway. The real reason for the cancellation (though not specifically stated by the agent, the truth was reluctantly acknowledged) and what really ticks me off, is the fact that they are looking for any reasons to cancel as they've ‘paid a claim’ and it shows ‘a loss’. To make matters worse, they make it almost impossible for me to get insurance with another company as they have posted for the insurance world to see that a claim was made. Guess what? NO insurance for me. My auto insurance agent has tried to no avail. Nope, have to wait a year after the claim. What in the world do we have insurance for anyway? If they choose to cancel you and make it impossible for you to be insured once you file a needed claim.

The photo above, while not my home, shows the ‘2 deadly steps’ that it takes to get in my front door. Hey guys, it's a 1940's bungalow and guess what? I went up and down my street and NO ONE with a two-step entry (and there are at least 30 two step entry homes on my street) have a rail. The facia, I will paint, of course our weather is not conducive to painting in the winter and spring months. The covered patio, a few fiberglass panels went in a storm, will have to be dealt with as well.

I have 3 weeks to get the items taken care of to their satisfaction and perhaps they will 'review' and possibly reverse their decision (although they have not stated as such). In the meantime, shame on you Safeco Insurance Company of America…your business practices are abhorrent!

Sell investment property...pay NO taxes? Is a 1031 Tax Exchange for you?

When Mrs. Smith called me today, and after about an hour on the phone, I thought maybe this was a good topic for the blog. She’s owned a property in CA (valued at around $700,000) that she has rented for many years and feels it is time to sell. Of course, paying a high tax bill on the $600,000 that is left after paying off the mortgage owed is not a desire. So the discussion revolved around doing what is known as a “1031 Tax Exchange”. As we discussed further it was determined that what she wants to do will probably work. That is, take the 600k and purchase 2 properties with the cash and rent both. Now the tricky part…she wants to close the sale in a month and she hasn’t really started on the process of finding the 2 to buy. She also mentioned that she feels she can handle all the exchange ‘stuff’ herself. Now, I’m no expert, however the following is what I shared with her from my limited knowledge.
• Must use a 1031 tax exchange facilitator, that handles the closing and receives the funds from the sale (deposits the $$ into a trust fund to await the close of the 2 purchases). If the seller gets the money deposited in their bank, the exchange is void and guess what? The tax man gets his.
• Can go ahead and close the sale as long as the Purchase agreement discloses the exchange.
• 45 day window (from the close date) to name the replacement properties (the ones Mrs. Smith wants to buy)
• 180 days to actually close on both properties.
• Any extra fund left over after the close…yep…the tax man gets his share of that amount.

Now there’s more to this than what’s mentioned here, and for more precise info on this subject

1031 ECI

I highly recommend.

Now is Washington a good place to invest in real estate after selling the same in another state? Mrs. Smith thinks so, and after reviewing the appreciation rates for 2006 today (more to come on that at another date) she can’t wait to get the ‘declining’ property sold and reinvested here in our area.

I can’t say I blame her.

photo courtesy of www.patriotnetwork.info

# 24 is retired to the rafters and another #24 passes

I Just got home flip-ed on the tube and am watching the halftime show of the Sonics/trailblazers game. Spencer Haywood, the original #24 is being recognized and his # retired as it should be. He finished his Seattle career at the time I became a Seattle-lite, however I remember him as truly the 1st superstar Seattle has had. On a side note the next #24 that I really remember as I watched him help the Sonics win their NBA championship against the Washington Bullets back in 1979, is Dennis Johnson. Sadly he collapsed on a basketball court coaching last week. Truly a happy and sad note for tonight's game. You will both be missed. As we embark on a battle to keep the Sonics in Seattle, I really hope we can do just that. Photos from the following:

The Strength Coach

and

Sports Illustrated/CNN

Just another day in the life of a realtor!

To many who are not in my profession, this story may not have meaning. To me, when I read this from my real estate friend residing back East (I will refer to her as Susan to protect her identity)I could empathise. She writes:

'Just picked up a new buyer through an Internet lead service. Nice young woman. Returns calls immediately, responds to e-mails promptly, agrees to work with me and we meet last night to go over paperwork, chat, then go view a two-family she knows she wants. She lives near the place, knows all about it, knows she is going to want to put in an offer. In the ten minute drive to the property, I learn:

1) Her fiancé was killed in a drive-by shooting;
2) She is suspicious, does not believe the story given by the other guy in the car; starts her own investigation;
3) A few weeks in, her dog is poisoned in the yard;
4) Her mother is now dead, she cannot turn to her for help;
5) Dad's in prison. No contact.
6) The house she has been renting a room in, and paying fairly high rent for, is going into foreclosure because the landlord took the money, did not pay the mortgage, and split.
7) She begins talks with the bank about buying the house herself because she loves it. At first they tell her she can buy it; she gets her financing in order. She qualifies for a mortgage larger than what the house will go for, so she figures she is all set. Not so fast. Sooooo many problems attached to this house, the title, etc., that she just decides she wants to get something else.
8) We go to the house, in the dark, in a not-safe neighborhood (her neighborhood, so I feel somewhat safer with her). Get key out of lockbox. Great. I can see that it is a brand new key, and I know what is coming. Right. Key does not work. I call the listing agent, a bulldog of a guy, Nickolay, who sounds like he is from the Russian Mafia. Nickolay keeps saying , "RRRR, YES, key should vork. Key should vork!" I keep trying. Key not vorking. Nicolay cannot meet us, he is having belated Valentine's Dinner with his girlfriend. Which is interesting, because I know Nikolay and his WIFE, lol. Met them at Realtor functions in the past. I reschedule for Saturday at 10:00.
9) This is going to be a short relationship. She is sweet and trusting, but I don't see her becoming one of my future friends-who-started-as-buyers. We just don't seem to run in the same social circles.'

Just another day in the life of a realtor.